The Holy Father gone to Turkey to redeem and consecrate the Greeks, so don't need no more soviet temples. Don't need no gyro blimpie Bart when got a regular Pope without the diner attitude. My pop kept hitting momma with a skillet on the head. Friends ended up in the hospital after their pop beat them. Pops got drunk and ruined my first car. Killed two cats and a dog, thrown out the window. Neighbor drowned the canaries in ouzo, lit, ate them. Ma overdid whip so she could give less pie. All our stuff came pilfered, with logos. Greeks overcook all meat so no one knows is bad. Another banned tenants flushing toilet paper. Waiters inpune sanitation because "dirty is natural and healthy." Priests just answered "behave, respect, tradition!" Now priest comes "no intercommunion!" Where was he when we needed him to protect us from our crazy parents? Don't sell me "educated Greeks" because we know all them Trojan Horse cheated on the exams. Besides it's just TV repair school. Remember all those jailed old disco Greeks, tax cheats to "protest" Jerome Ford stopping the Trojan Horse in Chyprious? We can't get good jobs because no one trusts Greeks, because of Trojan Horse. They always faked reading Greek. That's why we borrowed regular Catholic books instead of read Greek. Sure, we sacrifice to Greek myths three times a year to please yiayia, and she's nun the wiser when we go to regular Catholic Mass on Sundays when she bummed from bouzaki dances. Ain't need no more Bart, just the regular Pope. That's why we all married regular Catholic when we grew up. So they can trust us. Greek Altar Boy Crib Sheet: The most common incantation in the Greek Liturgy is "Gyro Lays On" which is to bless the slapping of meat on gyros a shadow set of altar boys are making in the basement. The next most common is "Docks apartheid, go carts for nobody" to bless the racial segreagation of Greek ships, which were the primary vehicle for bringing slaves to America. They also say "To rhapsody the duckies, shoot them, shoot them some more" and "Socks on we must go that not just egg nog sold by garlic Louie" Their lordie prayer is really a witches brew: "Butter lemon on the horizon against dominance, alter the fasolia sou, general tomatoes, eastern horizons, obtuse geese, does the mean simmering, tuna tuna is monitors in pussing, coffee serve offering man, eastern offer toffee latte, alter geese, obtuse boners"